If you’re facing some issues or just need to bring honesty and communication back to your relationship, here are four pieces of advice to help you save your marriage.
Best Advice on Saving Your Marriage
Most couples trying to save a marriage end up on the couch in a marriage counselor’s office talking about their issues. It’s a common misconception that this is the last step before admitting defeat.
Well, that’s entirely wrong since therapy should be a part of any marriage because people always need to work on their relationship regularly. If you’re facing some issues or just need to bring honesty and communication back to your relationship, remember the value of your relationship.
It’s worth salvaging, and it’s worth putting some work into.
1. Start Listening To Your Partner
If the marriage is breaking down, there is a good chance that both partners have issues and concerns that need to be brought into the open. That’s why counseling is a good idea.
Yes, it might be a short-term solution for most partners, but if they both listen with open ears, they can find a good way to mend their relationship.
A marriage counselor offers neutral territory with an impartial perspective that can help to open the doors to communication.
Your counselor can guide you through some open-ended questions, help you to rephrase your words and thoughts and give insight about valuable listening skills that both partners can take home with them.
If your partner suggests marriage counseling, don’t be too stubborn to listen.
This is a great indication that there’s a communication breakdown, even if it’s one you aren’t aware of, and failing to address it could lead to a quick demise in your relationship.
2. Express How You Feel
Besides improving the communication in your relationship, it’s important to express your feelings. That way, your spouse can understand your point of view.
In some cases, it’s tough to express any difficulties or frustrations you might be having with your significant other. Therefore, a good counselor should help you mediate the exchange.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that you should disrespect your partner. It will simply cause resentment and animosity thus making everything harder to solve.
Remember, therapy should help you solve your problems. It’s a safe space to be analytical and avoid being critical.
Note that saving your marriage could depend on so many things, but sharing your feelings is always a good place to start.
3. Compromise Sometimes
Just like any normal relationship, you should be ready to compromise with your partner.
Saving your marriage depends on how much you’re willing to accommodate your partner’s needs and wants. On the other hand, your partner should be open to your views, opinions, and ideas.
If two people are willing to bend to each other’s needs and find a middle ground, the dynamic of the relationship typically changes accordingly.
Remember, a good relationship revolves around people giving up their individual desires and encompassing those of their partner, those of the union.
If you’re ready to compromise with your partner, you are on your way to saving your marriage.
4. Stop the Blame Game
When you’re angry or upset, it’s often easy to blame the other person for everything that’s gone wrong in the relationship.
Don’t point the finger at your partner since it will make him/her disconnect from you and shut down.
There are always two sides to every story and one person is never to blame for everything.
Let it go, or better yet, share the opportunity to explain what you both honestly see as the things that are ‘going wrong’ in the relationship.
Do this to encourage communication and provide you with opportunities to look for solutions.
Marriages always take work but making them work is worth the effort.
Take the time to make communication a priority in your relationship, and never be afraid to seek professional help.
The love you have for each other can get you through even the hardest times, but you have to open up if you ever hope to see results.
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What suggestions do you have to keep a marriage strong?
About the Author: Waverly Hanson is the best-selling author of “How to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage
I think listening is a good place to start. Personally, sometimes it feels like currently people today don’t know how to. I would think that on top of these four tips that it may also be good to get some type of couples counseling.
I really like your third point on making compromises. Like you said, it’s important to accommodate your partner’s needs and wants, and helping them out by meeting them halfway is a really great way to do just that. However, I think it is also important to make sure that you aren’t compromising too much. It’s hard to notice that, though, which is why counselors can be so helpful. They can be an outside perspective on your relationship, and help you see things in a new way.
The more important in my opinion is to focus on maintaining the deep connection between you. Keeping in your head that statement allows you to avoid unexpected consequences, especially during conflicts. Words may lead you to misunderstand. The intention is a powerful tool to stay deeply connected with each other.