The Best, Surprisingly Simple Marriage Advice

Love doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes it’s the simple advice that’s the best advice – especially when it comes to marriage.

Marriage is hard. But, that doesn’t mean it’s not fun, fulfilling, and worth it.

I’m in my ninth year of marriage, so I thought I would share nine pieces of the best marital advice I’ve heard.

1. Write love notes to your husband. “Writing love notes is just one of the little ways I seek to invest in our marriage on a regular basis. It’s simple, it doesn’t require much time, and it doesn’t cost anything, but my love notes often are a huge boost to my husband’s day. They let him know that I care, that I appreciate him, and that I’m thinking of him as I go throughout my day.”
   {Money Saving Mom}
2. Be intimate and have an active bedroom life. “You’ve been together for years. The relationship’s good, but you look back on the frequent, mind-blowing sex that you had in the early months and years and wonder, “where did it all go?” These days, sex is the same old, same old. Something you do on a Friday night, without variety, without much excitement.Your sex life is in serious need of spice! A weekend at a fancy hotel, without the children, will do it, but that’s expensive. There are plenty of creative, less costly ways of turning up the heat.” {Talk S*x with Dr. Sue}
3. Complain to his mother, not yours. “This is one I did read somewhere in a magazine, and it’s totally true. His mother will forgive him. Yours never will. If you’re a man, bitch to your friends. They expect it.” { Huffington Post}
4. Communicate well and often. “Your spouse should be the single most important person you have in your life. Like it or not, communication is the tool that God has given us to knit our hearts and our minds together. Success is possible if we’re willing to apply some intentional principles. ” {Family Life}
5. Make good memories and share meals together. “I forget too often how much fun I can have with my husband. But taking time to reminisce every now and then reminds me that one of the most fun parts of my marriage IS the fact that we’ve known each other so long. We’ve grown up together, and our lives are enmeshed in a thousand ways. Our families, our jobs, our homes, our friends – all of it is connected in one way or another.” “Marriage experts try to impress on married couples the importance of making time on a daily basis to connect with each other. Although it shouldn’t be the only time the two of you communicate with one another, eating dinner or breakfast together is a built-in opportunity for that time to connect.” {Mom Advice & About.com}
6. Divorce is not an option. “It works to say we’re going to be happily married for the rest of our lives. Divorce is not an option for us. It never has been. We had the divorce conversation early on. We needed to make it clear: We’re never divorcing. And Phillip has said, you need to look me in the eye because I’m telling you I will never leave you. And I believed him. We were married maybe six months at the time. And I remember thinking, “I have been living our relationship up to this point with, well, what’s going to run him off ? Is what I did today going to make him mad enough to leave?” Even if it was just spending too much money or whatever. And then I remember thinking, “oh, I don’t ever have to worry if what I did was going to run him off because I know he is never leaving.” That’s off the table. What’s on the table is being happily married. That takes a lot of pressure off.”{Dr. Phil via Ladies Home Journal}
7. Put your husband first. “Have you ever read The Husband Project*? If not, it will transform your marriage for the better. I started this project two years ago and have committed to revisiting it every year. It is an amazing way to show your hard working hubs that you love him and that he means the world to you. In our stressed, tired, and just plain worn-out world, we all need a little reminder that someone at home loves us and needs us.”{The Budget Mama}
8. Think and speak the best about him. “Be kind and sweet. Never cut him down in front of people especially your children. This will hurt him deeper than anything. Let him have his male pride even when you think he’s wrong. Hold your tongue. It’s better to be loved than to be right. Think the best of him. Speak the best about him to others. Keep a mental rolodex of his shining moments. Draw on those memories when life gets hard. It will help pull you through the rough patches every marriage has.” {Dr. Laura}
9. Thank him…often. “Because sometimes? We just need to hear the words. Deep down we know our family is grateful–our kids appreciate the little things, especially when we don’t do them and our husbands and wives see more than we think they do.” {We Are That Family}

I think marriage actually gets better with time. As we get to know each other better and have a proven track record of working through issues and coming out on the other side, the bond gets stronger.

More ideas to keep a happy marriage:

Date Nights: Keep the Romance Alive

Planning a Romantic Getaway

A Wedding Anniversary: The Meaning, The Wedding, & Gifts

What advice would you add to maintain a happy marriage?

Original Images: Flickr via Creative Commons – Courtney Carmody & Vanity Mirror