5 Tips for Working Moms on Balancing Work and Family

Did you know that working mothers can have a happy marriage, quality time with their kids, a social life, hobbies, and even a decent night’s sleep?

None of this happens by chance. It must be intentional.

Sometimes you can find more efficient ways of doing things, ask someone else to help, or get creative to just get it done. Other times, you may simply need to let it go. Time is the most precious and limited resource we have. You can never create more of it. You can only use it differently.

My best piece of advice: stop trying to do it all. Instead, focus on these five areas of your life to create a better balance of work and family. Now, let’s unpack that bold statement I just made above.

Happy Marriage

Date night is often a forgotten ritual once you’re married.  I would argue that it’s more important than ever, once you’re married. It’s easy to want to spend time together when you’re first dating or just falling in love.

What’s more challenging is carving out time together once you’re married, with a job (or two), and kids. Read this marriage advice post for eight tips to make date night happen.

Quality Time with Your Kids

It’s hard to have the energy to play with the kids when you get home from a long day of work. I have learned, though, that if I just give them a few minutes of my time, the evening generally goes smoother.

So, my routine is to ask my fifth grader about his day, his homework, and his after school activities. Then, I will play with my daughter for a few minutes before sitting down to tackle dinner, a project, or some writing. Hosting a weekly family game night is another great way to carve out family time. I shared our favorite board games in this post about ways to get quality time with your kids.

Social Life

Whatever you do, don’t go it alone. We all need connections outside of work and our immediate families for fellowship, camaraderie, and sisterhood.

So, get out there and have fun!

Hobbies

As working moms, we spend all day in the office earning a living.  We need a way to recharge our batteries.  We need a release from the stress that has built up concerning finances, schedules, and priorities.  When we take the time to renew our minds and bodies, we are able to be better wives, moms, and women.

I know you’re thinking, how in the world am I going to have time for anything else? But it can be as easy as reduce, reuse, and recycle. See how I use these three tactics in shortcuts to finding time for yourself.

Sleep

“Sleep is a biological function, not a sign of how important you are.”

“People will get an adequate amount of sleep one way or another — whether by falling asleep in a movie or while putting the kids to bed at night.”

If you know you have to wake up by a specific time in the morning, count backwards to see what time you need to go to bed to get an adequate amount of sleep and stick to it.

Don’t stay up another hour to clean the house. Put yourself in…the “Good Enough Camp” of housework. (Source)

I recently received an advance copy of Laura Vanderkam’s refreshing new book which was released today, “I Know How She Does It: How Successful Women Make the Most of Their Time.” {affiliate links used}

Hour-by-hour time logs from 1001 days in the lives of working mothers earning at least $100,000 a year, this book shows how these women spend the 168 hours that every one of us has each week. Case studies and interviews document how women make time to advance in their careers, enjoy family activities, and pursue their own passions.

According to Laura Vanderkam:

Many now believe this to be gospel truth: Any woman who wants to advance in a challenging career has to make huge sacrifices. She’s unlikely to have a happy marriage, quality time with her kids (assuming she can have kids at all), a social life, hobbies, or even a decent night’s sleep.

But what if that’s not the whole story? What if all those tragic anecdotes ignore the women who quietly but consistently do just fine with the juggle?

Study Findings By Observing Time Logs

• Overall, these women worked less and slept more than they assumed they did before they started tracking their time.
• They went jogging or to the gym, played with their children, scheduled date nights with their significant others, and had lunches with friends.
• They made time for the things that gave them pleasure and meaning, fitting the pieces together like tiles in a mosaic—without adhering to overly rigid schedules that would eliminate flexibility and spontaneity.

Vanderkam shares specific strategies that her subjects use.

How to Make Time for the Things That Really Matter

• Work split shifts (such as seven hours at work, four off, then another two at night from home). This allows you to see your kids without falling behind professionally.
• Get creative about what counts as quality family time. Breakfasts together and morning story time count as such as daily family dinners, and they’re often easier to manage.
• Take it easy on the housework. You can free up a lot of time by embracing the philosophy of “good enough” and getting help from other members of your household (or a house cleaning service).
• Guard your leisure time. Full weekend getaways may be rare, but many satisfying hobbies can be done in small bursts of time. An hour of crafting feels better than an hour of reality TV.

With examples from hundreds of real women, Vanderkam proves that you don’t have to give up on the things you really want. I Know How She Does It will inspire you to build a life that works, one hour at a time.

How do YOU manage the tension between work and taking care of your family?