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Funny Quotes About Moms

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by RAKI WRIGHT

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These funny quotes about mom will have you laughing and learning at the same time.

These funny quotes about mom will have you laughing and learning at the same time.

Clarity and focus doesn’t always come from God or inspirational quotes. Usually, it takes your mother to slap the reality back into you.

— SHANNON L. ALDER

When your mother asks, “Do you want a piece of advice?” it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.

— ERMA BOMBECK

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.

— TENNEVA JORDAN

And remember that behind every successful woman is a basket of dirty laundry.

— UNKNOWN

A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.

— PETER DE VRIES

When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she’d just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

— GRACIE ALLEN

[When] you’re dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn’t matter what else is going on. That’s real happiness.

— GWYNETH PALTROW

It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. My mom says some days are like that.

— JUDIT VIORST, ALEXANDER AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY

In the end, Mothers are always right. No one else tells the truth.

— RANDY SUSAN MEYERS, THE MURDERER’S DAUGHTERS

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.

— FLORIDA SCOTT-MAXWELL

Who is getting more pleasure from this rocking, the baby or me?

— NANCY THAYER

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

— MILTON BERLE

It’s not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.

— DOROTHY, THE GOLDEN GIRLS

My sister taught me everything I really need to know, and she was only in sixth grade at the time.

— LINDA SUNSHINE

Our mothers always remain the strangest, craziest people we’ve ever met.

— MARGUERITE DURAS

Always remember your kid’s name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don’t let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers… for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces.

-Amy Poehler

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”

-Phyllis Diller
“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.”
-Buddy Hackett
“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.”
-Calvin Trillin
“The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”
-Dorothy Parker
“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”
-Erma Bombeck

Looking for more funny inspirational quotes and advice about life?

Dr. Maya Angelou was a poet, author, civil rights activist, and mother. She wrote, inspired, challenged, and embraced humanity. Inspirational speakers, comedians, and entertainers are remembered for their funny quotes about life’s lessons. These funny quotes from Disney movies about life will have you laughing and learning at the same time. On this page, I have included all of the posts I’ve written about marriage including how to create the habit of date nights, ways to get free advice, wedding anniversaries, and some interesting statistics on the dreaded d-word (divorce).

What’s your favorite funny quote about moms?

Find more reasons we love mom, more than 80 Mother’s Day quotes, and funny quotes about moms.

These funny quotes about mom will have you laughing and learning at the same time.

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RAKI WRIGHT
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Filed Under: Mom, Parenting Tagged With: Funny Quotes, Mom, Mother's Day, Motherhood

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Comments

  1. Judit says

    at

    My favourite quote from your list is “My sister taught me everything I really need to know, and she was only in sixth grade at the time” by Linda Sunshine. From one hand it might sound funny that one can learn everything from a child but on the other hand, it speaks to the wisdom of children.

  2. Harsha s says

    at

    Amazing quotes, there are many sayings which I found here

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Welcome! I'm Raki. I am a working mom of 2 (20-year old son and 13-year old daughter). I share tips to balance work, family, and make time for you. More...

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