Is work-life balance possible? You don’t want to miss these five tips from a married, working mom who is also a judge and television personality juggling it all!
I recently had the opportunity to interview Judge Lauren Lake and ask her advice on Work-Life Balance. She is a married, working mom to a six-year-old son.
Lauren is a renowned attorney and legal expert and the judge we have all come to know from TV’s hit syndicated courtroom series, “Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court.”
She built a prominent law career as a member of the New York, New Jersey, and Michigan bars with a concentration in family, criminal, and entertainment law.
Tips on Achieving Work-Life Balance
First, let’s define balance.
1. an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.
2. a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.
1. keep or put (something) in a steady position so that it does not fall.
2. offset or compare the value of (one thing) with another.
1. Balance Work and Life
At an early age, Lauren learned that it’s not easy. Her mother was a working mom whom she lost to breast cancer. Lauren often wondered, “Mom, how did you make it look easy?” Lauren says her mom always had dinner ready, made time for family, wasn’t crazily running around, and seemed to make everything work.
Lauren tells moms that eating out is okay. There should be no guilt and there are no rules. You are human (not super human). As long as your kids see you happy, you do not have to be June Cleaver.
Working moms should pursue their dreams and give that same permission to their kids. It’s important to give yourself some grace. Rotate the crazy with the sane (i.e. alternating a takeout night with a cook at home night, depending on your schedule). Above all, just love your kids!
2. Live Life Without Limits
Lake co-founded the Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network (WEEN), which promotes the positive portrayal of women in entertainment and society through nationwide mentoring and outreach programs for young women.
An accomplished musician, entertainer and all-around creative spirit, Lauren has sung background for platinum selling artists like Jay-Z, Mary J. Blige and P. Diddy and was host and designer on HGTV’s “Spice Up My Kitchen” and “Showdown Champion” for two consecutive years.
In addition to her own success, Lauren has helped numerous young African-American women through the Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network (WEEN), which Lake co-founded, to promote the positive portrayal of women in entertainment and society by creating mentoring and outreach programs.
She offers an inspirational life coaching CD along with the book Girl! Let Me Tell You. She’s also working on a new website: Lauren Lake Limitless.
Lauren’s goal is to help individuals overcome obstacles with techniques, tools, and personalized solutions. She says there are no one size fits all solutions, but you can defy the odds. The first step is to ask: what’s holding me back?
Do I need to step away for two days and journal? Am I avoiding confrontation? Should I reply immediately? Am I being in denial?
3. Empower Young Women
Lauren’s advice to moms of daughters is to focus on their self-esteem. One free resource is her mentorship group / big sister program.
The WEEN Awards offers an evening of glamor, philanthropy, and social justice with a star-studded line-up of deserving honorees.
The WEEN Academy is a FREE 4-week crash course in the entertainment business with leading celebrities and entertainment industry executives. The first of its kind, this entrepreneurship program was developed by the Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network (WEEN) for young women 18 – 26 years of age to identify and prepare the next generation of entertainment industry leaders.
Lauren believes that all women need self-esteem, empowerment, and motivation. This starts as young girls). Our contribution as parents is to avoid judgment or being critical. Let’s help our youth. Ask: what’s the root? how can I help?
4. Involve Your Kids
Oftentimes working moms separate work and life. Lauren advocates for the opposite by suggesting that we involve our children in what we do. I shared my thoughts on this in my post about taking my daughter to work.
Other ways to involve your kids:
- allow them to watch (selected events)
- discuss issues that come up
- share life lessons
- attend speaking engagements and expos
- let them see mom doing her part to change the world
- allow them to mimic / channel you
- talk about concepts that tie into what you do
- input drops of knowledge
Above all, know that they’re paying attention to you. Make this an interactive experience for both of you.
5. Balance Power With Partnership
Successful working or entrepreneurial moms may wonder how to balance empowerment and partnership in marriage. Lauren says at the end of the day, you will have to do what works for you. It’s not easy.
Be prepared for dynamic changes. More importantly, be honest and communicate what you want.
Negotiate in your relationship. Talk about what you want. Have the courage to listen and hear your partner (remember that if you ask the question, be able to listen to the answer).
There will be some tough, inconvenient conversations. You have to talk about entrepreneurship and how your partner feels about these changes in your life. You may need to discuss the effect of you being the breadwinner, if that’s the case.
Either way, there needs to be a system in place.
(Example: A man and a woman meet and the woman is a schoolteacher. Then she decides to become an entrepreneur. And then he is feeling some type of way that she used to be off of work at 3 p.m. and now she’s having to take meetings at 7 or 8 o’clock at night.
This couple needs to be able to have hard conversations about what the expectations are and what each individual person has evolved into.)
Thanks to Lauren Lake for her time!
Where can you catch Lauren Lake?
Emmy-nominated LAUREN LAKE’S PATERNITY COURT is a nationally syndicated 30-minute court show presided over by the sharp-witted and opinionated Lake, who helps real people with real stories resolve legal paternity issues by rendering incisive judgments using DNA evidence.
The show offers litigants the chance to resolve their differences and make it through the emotionally charged moment of discovery, while offering heartfelt advice and counseling to help them integrate the outcome into their lives.
The show is produced by 79th & York Entertainment and distributed by Orion TV Productions (Orion Television). David Armour is the creator and serves as executive producer.
This post was sponsored by the Role Mommy Writer’s Network.