It’s not easy to find time for everything (including your marriage after children). Between your kids, husband, work, and home duties, how can you have time for anything? You just keep running and you are only able to do the more basic stuff.
Now that you’re thinking about it, when was the last time that you went on a date with your hubby? Just the two of you? Either for a night out or even for a walk in the park?
The truth is that marriage after children isn’t easy. It is never a “task” that is completed. It needs to be nurtured. You need to show appreciation for him as well as he needs to do the same for you. But in order to do this, you need to have time and commitment.
And when you have kids, time simply disappears instantly. You just have something to do, all the time, from the moment you get out of bed until the moment you finally fall asleep at night.
What you need to remember is that the base of your family is the couple’s love, compassion, friendship. So, you need to make sure that the base continues strong so that the family can be completely happy.
Simply put, you need to make your marriage after children a priority. Here’s how:
#1: Weekday Update
One problem many couples have is that they don’t even realize what’s happening in the other’s life, at their work, if they’re having a problem.
The thing is that you’re usually so focused on your kids that even if your husband seems a bit sad when he comes home from work, you don’t even ask him what is happening since you already have so many things on your mind.
So, even though you might think that you’re going to do that later when kids are asleep, you just forget about it. So, one of the things you can do is to establish a weekday to talk about what’s happening in your life.
How’s the work been doing, if there is a problem, something that is not going the way you planned, anything? This is the way a marriage should work. You’re a team and the team members talk to each other, listen and help when it’s needed.
Related: What to do during your lunch break
One problem that affects most couples is that they don’t realize what a kid can change in their lives. They just think that it will all be the same. And when the baby is born, the mother usually stays closer while the father tends to escape for work.
But not all things are what they seem. Sometimes, you just need to ask for help. Neither your husband or anyone can actually know what you need unless you talk to them. They may even have different solutions for the problem.
Related: Marriage After Children Advice
#3: Make Time:
You do have time; you just need to know how to schedule it in the best possible way. And yes, it’s not easy. But it’s manageable and it’s completely worth it.
Even if your kids aren’t used to their parents going out without them and they keep crying and begging, you just need to make them understand that it’s adult time and children have nothing to say about it.
Find a babysitter who you can trust; leave your kids with their grandparents for some quality time together; allow them to spend the night with a friend at their home.
After so much time without dating, you probably don’t have any idea of what to do. A simple night out will do it. And it doesn’t even need to be expensive. All you need to have is time and space to speak, communicate, be a couple, nurture your marriage after children.