Relationships, whether platonic or romantic need nurturing. A relationship that isn’t nurtured can wither and die, and that’s not something anyone wants. However, it can happen unwittingly as you get caught up in life and routine.
If you fear your relationship is not what it should be, it may be time to focus on your daily habits. Small acts have big consequences and can influence your partner’s feelings towards you.
Small Gestures of Kindness Are Key
I believe that all relationships are built on a continuous series of tiny acts of generosity. You need to treat every day as though it’s special and celebrate your love just like you do on your anniversary.
The best way to enforce this is to focus on what you are giving, rather than what you are getting, or want to get. Review how often you ask for things for a while and then start offering as much, or even a little more.
Small acts of kindness can be as simple as making a cup of coffee for your partner without them having to ask. You should also pay attention to their emotional state so that you notice when things aren’t going well. Stepping up to make dinner, taking over a household chore you know they hate, or just giving a back rub can make a world of difference.
You could make a point of bringing home a little present for no reason other than that you love them. Really listening to them tell you about their day when they get home, or planning an evening out doing something they love are other healthy habits to form.
The Importance of Those Three Little Words
Do you and your partner say I Love You to one another? If you don’t, can you remember when last you did? How it made you feel to hear it? And if you do, have you started saying it by rote, with no actual feeling behind the words?
Don’t take it for granted that your partner knows how you feel about them just because you’ve been together for a while now. This little habit could make a world of difference to how the two of you interact, and it is one that you should take joy in executing every day without fail.
Spend Time Together and Time Apart
If you wake up every morning and roll out of bed recommitting to the relationship you are in, you are already halfway there. But fostering a habit of spending quality time with one another and having a good time on your own or with friends definitely won’t hurt.
A good relationship, especially one that has been going for a long time, needs variety. You two need to stay interested in one another, and the only way to do that is to keep pursuing the things that made you fall for one another in the first place.
Automatically cancelling any plans that don’t involve your Other Half is a terrible idea, no matter how much you enjoy each other’s company. There is going to come a time when you simply run out of things to talk about because you are always together!
If you get to a point where the sound of them chewing makes you understand why Lizzie Borden gave her mother 40 whacks, or you want to give them 41 because of the way they inhale, you need a break. And when you get back from doing that thing you love; you can share a story they have never heard before.
Embrace Your Uniqueness and Your Differences
Too many people think that building a good relationship relies on finding someone who has the same interests, hobbies, and passions as themselves. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Make it a habit to do something you love doing and watch the spark between you reignite!
What is exciting about two people coming together is their differences and how they grow and evolve through these with one another. Ever heard of yin and yang? That is what you are aiming for. Not a carbon copy of yourself.
Explore your differences and take turns visiting one another’s worlds. Watch movies they pick, show them why you love the music they hate, and explore things they enjoy with enthusiasm. Making it a habit to celebrate how the two of you are separate people will strengthen your bond and remind you why you hooked up in the first place.
Think More About We, Less About Me
Do you view your problems as your own responsibility and burden?
As noble as this perspective may seem to you, you are definitely ignoring the impact that your unknown stresses, concerns, and worries are having on your partner. This is a difficult habit to break, but one that is certain to wreck your relationship if it is not attended to.
Your problems will affect the people around you. The longer you keep the reason for your bad mood, irritability, or depression to yourself, the more serious the impact will be. Your partner will feel useless, disconnected from you, and resentful for being treated unfairly.
Working together as a team is a key part of maintaining a healthy, successful relationship, so shift your focus from Me to We often enough for it to become a habit. The power of a good partnership can be a force to be reckoned with, but only if you make it a daily habit to prioritize it.
Things get a lot easier to deal with when two minds become one. Always remember, the small stuff you are sweating on a regular basis will cause big changes in your intimacy, satisfaction, and connection.
Work on your own flaws when you notice them, talk about how you are feeling and what you’re facing, and put your partner’s needs on an equal footing as your own. The journey of a good relationship starts with little steps, and if you’re focused on that as an outcome, you’re almost sure to get there.
All relationships take work, but the rewards far outweigh the blood, sweat, and tears that keep it going!
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