Contrary to popular belief, there is such a thing as a good divorce. Divorces can be smooth processes whereby everyone gets what they need to carry on and build a new life more aligned with their inner yearnings and preferences.
Of course, divorces can also be stressful, painful and messy. The following will explore one factor that can positively influence the process of your divorce: working with a lawyer.
Matrimonial Law Is Complicated
While most people think of divorce as an emotional experience (which it is), few understand it through the lens of the law. There are strict rules about paperwork, documentation and deadlines that need to be followed carefully. It’s easy for an amicable divorce to get messed up and delayed as you refile for divorce since your last attempt was thrown out of court due to errors on your part.
Not Trusting The Government Or Legal System To Fairly Divide Your Assets
You’ve probably heard somewhere before that getting a lawyer’s help during a divorce proves you don’t trust your soon-to-be ex-spouse. (You might also have heard a similar statement about prenups, namely that they imply a lack of trust in your partner). This isn’t always the case.
Sometimes a state or province has standards for divorce that are built upon averages or past cases. These standards may or may not be suited to the best interest of you and the person you’re getting a divorce with. These standards may negatively impact things that are important to both of you, such as your children’s daily lives or a business you co-owned together.
Having a lawyer represent each party can help you become aware of gaps in the standard approach to divorce that could bring you or your partner struggles in the future. Lawyers can let you know about options you’ve never even heard of, sometimes solving problems quickly by sharing just a little extra information.
Maybe one of you has an ailing parent that lives in the home you no longer want to share, and both of you want to be sure that this parent isn’t left with new challenges after the divorce. Maybe a child of yours has particular needs, and the two of you need to be on the same page in that regard to make sure that care doesn’t suffer as you figure out co-parenting.
Lawyers can help ensure that important things don’t get missed. Even if things seem smooth now, your ex might get remarried and then suddenly, that person has a legal entitlement to something you and your partner had agreed upon verbally but have no actual written evidence of. No divorce is exactly the same, and this means that the standard divorce mold rarely fits comfortably over the divorce you and your partner need.
Exceptions To The Rule
Sometimes there are unique elements in your divorce that need to be handled with care. Often a specialized lawyer can help with this. For instance, military divorce lawyers in Carlsbad, California, point out that military divorce entitlements and military pensions are handled completely differently than standard pensions and entitlements. If you’re unfamiliar with the laws in this regard, it might be difficult to craft a divorce that works for both parties. A specialized attorney who knows about these differences can help everyone involved get what’s needed to move on securely.
Objectivity Helps
Even if you and your partner both feel the divorce is right, it can still be emotionally draining. It’s easy to lose a sense of what’s objective as you navigate the turbulent feelings that arise during a divorce. It’s common to lose sight of the big picture in favor of winning a particular battle.
You might find yourself occupied with a single piece of furniture that has sentimental value to you, to the point of neglecting other valuable aspects of the divorce. You might find yourself fighting with everything you have to keep your kids at their current school even though the kids don’t actually care if they switch schools (in fact, they’re eager for a change).
Having another person who has seen many divorces talk you through events can help you gain perspective. It’s all too easy to get tangled up emotionally during a divorce and lose sight of what’s actually important.
Speed And Fresh Eyes
The aforementioned lack of objectivity can sometimes slow down the process of divorce. If you and your partner are having a hard time agreeing on things leaving you in a stalemate, bringing in some fresh eyes can often help. Sometimes there’s a really simple solution that you just haven’t thought of yet.
Financial Perspective
Building on the above point, finances are really important, especially today. Inflation and economic instability are rampant. If you haven’t lived in a single-income household in a while, you might find yourself shocked at how much of an adjustment this is. Economic understanding and financial literacy skills have never been more valuable. It’s vital that you and your partner understand that each of you will be adjusting financially. Shared obligations like children and pets can have a really hard time with this. Working with a lawyer can help you and your partner find a financial balance that takes the future into account.
Ease The Burden
Divorce hurts. It’s hard and, as stated above, emotional. There’s a lot that needs to be organized as you untangle your lives from each other. One or both of you might be moving. One or both of you might be looking for a new job. Children often need more handholding than usual in the midst of a divorce. Parents and friends are constantly saying the wrong thing. You’re grieving, but you’re also thinking about how wide open your future is and what you want to fill your time with once this is all sorted. Some couples find that a lawyer can help with the onslaught of things that need to be done by helping with paperwork, clarifying confusing points of the process, and outlining what needs to be done in what order.
Getting divorced is going to look different for every couple, and that’s okay. What’s important is each of you ensures that you’re building a strong foundation for your future while managing shared tasks in the present. Legal professionals can help with this.
