Like all relationships, the patient-therapist one sometimes does not work out. There can be various reasons why this specific relationship can become obsolete.
For one, it’s a highly personal relationship for therapeutic causes. So, if the person is not making progress, the relationship needs to be changed ASAP. Because the sole reason for changing the therapist is the consequence in the form of persistent negative thought patterns. And not only a bad relationship with your therapist will continue to reinforce these negative thoughts, but it will also prevent you from the getting treatment that you actually require. Therefore, if you are facing one of the following issues with your current therapist, now is the time to let go and make a change that can bring positivity to your life:
- Impersonal and judgmental Therapist
The world is already full of cold and harsh people, and therefore, your therapist should not be one of them too. There is a need for some degree of personal attachment that must be with you and your therapist. If your therapist seems too relaxed or causal during your session and instead of focusing on the thing that has been bugging your week, he goes on to discuss the weather; then you must know that he is wasting your time. A good therapist should be as personal as it can be and he needs to be invested in your mental condition at all times. Similarly, the last thing a therapist needs to be is to pass judgment. A patient comes to a therapist and empties his soul on the therapist’s couch; therefore, the therapist must never judge his patient for the problems he mentioned in sessions.
- Your therapist is not listening to you.
What does it take to become a good therapist? The first answer that pops into our mind is the fact that the therapist needs to be able to listen to their patients. Good therapists have mastered the art of listening and they offer undivided attention to their patients. If you feel like you have been talking to a wall, or to someone who interjects his own opinions more than he listens to you then you must take a step back and find some who is more interested in what you have to say. A good therapist should be able to empathize with you by listening to your problems with patience and without passing judgments.
- When your therapist provokes you to shift the blame on others for your miseries
A therapist’s job is not to manipulate his patients and making them believe that all their miseries and griefs are because of others. Rather, he needs how to strike a balance between menta validation and personal culpability. Instead of blaming the sun and moon for your troubles, he needs to encourage you to examine your role in the choices you make. For example, if you are struggling with some drug or addiction, your therapist should advise you to change your behavior instead of shifting the blame on your drug dealer.
Need help finding a new therapist? Here’s a good read.
More Posts About Therapy
Duncan BL. On becoming a better therapist: Evidence-based practice one client at a time. American Psychological Association; 2014.
Adams M. The myth of the untroubled therapist: Private life, professional practice. Routledge; 2013 Oct 15.
Cozolino L. The making of a therapist. WW Norton & Company; 2004 Jul 17.
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional.