There’s no greater gift in this world than being a mother. You get to teach your children from your experience and love on them like it’s nobody’s business. Unfortunately, reality holds a different story sometimes.
In some cases, some couples reach the decision that their relationship is no longer a good fit and choose to divorce. Of course, nobody plans for a divorce; sometimes, though, it’s the best decision for everyone.
As a mother, however, when a divorce becomes your reality, your kids are probably your first thought. There are a few things every mother should consider when divorcing, and we’re going to help in our guide below. Read on to learn more and come out of the divorce stronger than ever before.
Encourage an amicable divorce
Nobody wants to go through a divorce in the first place, but you especially don’t want a contempt divorce process. You should do everything you can to work with your attorney to encourage a positive and friendly divorce when possible.
Ideally, you and your spouse will reach a settlement sooner rather than later—the best way to do that is through collaboration. You can ask your attorney if they practice mediation or collaborative divorce because it’ll require you and your spouse to work together.
An added benefit of mediation and collaborative divorce is that you don’t have court costs and the settlement process is much faster. In other words, you’re going to save a lot of money if you can work together.
Consider your financial state
A lot of mothers worry about finances during a divorce. Many cases involve the husband being the breadwinner; luckily, times have changed, and women are more than capable of working.
Even with your current income, you should take your finances into consideration. Create a budget if you need to—in fact, we’d encourage it. If you’re used to having a second income and joint accounts, you should make sure your current income will support you and your family.
Many divorces involve alimony and child support, but you should make sure you can afford living without them if you can. Don’t forget about insurance, since most couples are on one partner’s account.
Think about custody options
In case you didn’t notice, up until now, we didn’t bring the kids into any of this—that was intentional. You shouldn’t involve your kids in any of the divorce nitty-gritty until it comes to custody. Some states allow kids to influence the custody decision, depending on their age.
You may want sole custody, but there are only certain times when you can seek sole custody. You’ll have to come to peace with the fact that you’ll likely have joint custody, unless there’s a reason your kids shouldn’t see your spouse.
Every divorce is different, but we highlighted the main things every mother should consider when divorcing. If you take a deep breath, keep yourself healthy throughout the process, and have some close friends to talk to, you’ll be okay.
More Divorce Advice
How to Guide Your Child Through a Divorce
How To Change Your Last Name After Marriage (Or Divorce)
Divorce Rates in the U.S. (& How to Beat the Odds)
