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Coping Strategies To Try for a Child With Separation Anxiety

This post may contain affiliate links. Read full disclosure.

by Emma Radebaugh

Separation anxiety is one of the most common challenges young children face. It is quite unsettling for parents to watch their child struggle with fear or discomfort when parting ways.

A young mother in a purple sweater with her small child standing outside the school building having a conversation.

Fortunately, there are strategies you can try to ease these emotions and foster independence in your child. By understanding their needs and taking actionable steps, you can support their emotional well-being and help them feel more secure during times of separation. We’re exploring a few coping strategies to try for a child with separation anxiety to hopefully bring more peace to temporary goodbyes.

Create a Predictable Routine

A solid daily routine offers a sense of stability that children with separation anxiety often need. When children know what to expect each day, it reduces the uncertainty that fuels their fear.

Morning rituals, consistent drop-off times, and predictable bedtime routines will help them feel grounded. If your child knows, for example, that you’ll return home after work every evening and spend quality time together, they’ll find it easier to trust in your temporary absence.

Practice Gradual Separation

Jumping straight to lengthy separations can feel overwhelming for a child struggling with anxiety. Instead, ease into it. Start by stepping into another room for a few moments while they remain in the care of a trusted person. Gradually increase the time and distance as their comfort grows. This process builds confidence and reassures them that you’ll always come back.

The idea is to normalize separations in small doses so that your child becomes more accustomed to being apart while feeling safe. If your child also exhibits behaviors like thumb sucking, it might help to understand that such habits are often a sign of self-soothing during anxiety. Recognizing the link between thumb sucking and separation anxiety will help you address their underlying emotional needs more effectively.

Offer Comfort Items

For many children, a physical reminder of security can make all the difference with their anxious thoughts. Familiar comfort items like a favorite stuffed animal, blanket, or even a small family photo tucked in their bag can be incredibly soothing.

These objects act as tangible links to home and to feelings of safety during upsetting moments. Don’t underestimate how much reassurance these items provide, especially during transitions like school drop-offs or overnight stays.

Stay Calm and Positive

How you react to moments of separation plays a significant role in shaping your child’s experience. Children are highly perceptive and often mirror the emotions of their parents. If your tone is calm and your attitude is positive, they’ll pick up on that energy and feel more assured.

Avoid dramatic goodbyes or lingering too long during drop-offs, as this can reinforce their anxiety instead of easing it. Instead, offer a cheerful, simple goodbye and reassure them that you will see them soon.

Strengthening Your Child’s Resilience

Coping with separation anxiety is always difficult for both you and your child, but it’s manageable with the right strategies and mindset. Take gradual steps, offer reassurance, and provide stability. Remember, you’re not just helping them get through the moment; you’re teaching them valuable tools to manage emotions and build resilience in the long term.

Above all, trust your instincts as a parent and don’t hesitate to reach out for additional resources or support. With time, patience, and careful guidance, your child will gain confidence and learn that separation is a healthy, normal part of their day.

More Ways to Foster Independence:

  • How To Help Your Child Build Motor Skills For Independence
  • 4 Ways to Help Improve Your Child’s Confidence
  • Kindergarten Readiness (& How We Are Preparing for Kindergarten)
  • The Many Advantages Attending Kindergarten Confers Upon Young Children
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Welcome! I'm Raki. I am a working mom of 2 (22-year old son and 15-year old daughter). I share tips to balance work, family, and make time for you. More...

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